Subject: Fearsum


The episode opens with a clip of a stereotypical blonde television reporter messing up her line, and then saying repeatedly, “I’m Julie Marish.” The camera pulls back to reveal that Derek is watching this clip on his monitor as he talks on the phone with Chloe. Chloe’s at a conference in New York City, and Derek is trying to convince her to help him out with a story while she is there. Chloe wants “to be a grownup this week” and she has to give a speech at the conference, so she’s doesn’t want to help. Derek tries to convince Chloe to “ask [the reporter] a few questions about what she saw.” Chloe is checking out her expensive room service order while Derek peers into his nearly empty refrigerator. There’s a slice of pizza sitting in the refrigerator.

Derek finally takes no for an answer and hangs up the phone, just as Jason and Lan arrive with a pizza. Derek is psyched that they got anchovies, and says, “Everything is right with the world.” The lights go out. Turns out Derek spent the money for the electric bill on “something else.” Jason asks why the computer is still running, and Lan says it’s running on backup power. Jason asks about the video clip Derek was watching, and Derek says it’s their “next freakylink.” He plays the clip to reveal Julie Marish doing her closing, and in the background some guy gets pulled into a sewer grate and starts yelling. Julie and the cameraman run over as the guy is disappearing under the grate. Derek stops the clip, and Lan asks what happened. Derek asks if anyone is up for a road trip.

Chloe is walking out of some ballroom at the conference as “Für Elise” plays. Some guy comes up behind her and says, “Is there a psychologist in the house?” Chloe hugs him, and reveals that that his name is Wayne. He asks if she got his phone calls two weeks ago, and Chloe says that she was “in the woods” and that it’s “a long story.” She asks if he is “still counseling the men in blue.” Wayne is, which means he is “licensed to pack heat,” although he prefers “a Prozac dispenser.” Wayne feels he needs to apologize for something because “Adam was a friend of [his]” and he “mistook sympathy from [Chloe] for something else.” There’s an awkward moment, and then Chloe says it’s fine. Wayne asks about the paper she’s presenting, and Chloe says that the topic is “Internet addiction and its connection to deviant public behavior.”

Just then, Derek enters the hotel lobby, yelling, “Yeah, baby!” Chloe is shocked to see him, and Wayne asks if it’s Adam’s brother. Derek walks up and gives her a hug. Lan and Jason are right behind him. Chloe introduces Derek to Wayne, and Derek remembers him since Wayne was friends with Adam. Wayne offers his sympathy. Chloe asks why he’s in New York City, and Derek says he’s “chasing that story.” Wayne thinks Derek’s a reporter, but Chloe calls him “an Internet entrepreneur.” Derek hands a Freakylinks buisness card to Wayne, telling him to check out the site. Wayne asks if “Freakylinks” is an Internet sausage company. Derek laughs sarcastically and explains what the site is about. Wayne notes that “business seem to be going well” for them, as he takes note of Derek’s attire. Derek says, “Ask Chloe.” Chloe says that she consults, and asks Wayne if she could hook up with him later. Wayne says they’ll meet at some cocktail party, and leaves. Derek comments on Wayne’s strong cologne, and Chloe shoots him a look.

Derek shows Chloe the video clip of the guy falling down the sewer drain. Jason and Lan dump their bags on the floor of Chloe’s suite, as she tells them they can’t stay there. Derek thinks they have “documented proof that one of the most famous urban legends isn’t a legend.” Chloe guesses that he means “alligators in the sewers,” but she still doesn’t want them to stay in her room. Derek says it’ll just be a base of operations until they get what they came for, and she won’t even know they are there.

Cut to a shot of the Statue of Liberty. The camera pans over a sleeping Lan, a sleeping Jason, a sleeping Derek, and then a wide-awake Chloe in her bed.

The alarm clock goes off at 7 AM, and Chloe finds a note from Derek telling her to watch the morning news at 8 AM. Cut to Julie, the reporter from the clip, doing the weather. She’s in front of a live crowd, many of whom are holding signs. Julie walks over to talk to some of the people in the crowd. Someone yells, “Hey, Julie!” Jason, Lan, and Derek hold up signs that, when read together, say, “What happened to the man in the sewer” Julie reads them out loud. Chloe, watching in her hotel room, says, “Oh, God.”

Derek, Lan, and Jason are talking to Julie in a diner. She complanes about being the “weather chick” in a major market. Derek asks about the clip, and why she never aired it. Julie says that it happened very quickly, and her news director thought she “faked it to get noticed.” Julie says that she still things about it every time she steps over a sewer grate. She gives Derek the address where the accident happened, and says that she gave a copy of the tape to the police. Julie talks about how New York is such a hard city.

Montage of people being interviewed about the existence of alligators in the sewers. Some believe it, some don’t. One guy is wearing a sweatshirt that says, “Edith Keeler Must Die,”. The guy wearing the sweatshirt claims that the only thing living in the sewers are “mole people,” the mental patients that were tossed out of institutions in the 1980s.

Lan, Jason, and Derek watch a cheesy movie about alligators in the sewers and eat junk food. Chloe comes in and asks if they should be doing research. They are all giggling. Chloe goes off to take a shower, and Jason cracks that she must have a hot date.

Cut to Chloe in the bathroom, videotaping herself in the mirror. She says she’s going to show us something “truly scary,” and shows Derek and Jason goofing around, and Lan looking on. Chloe points the camera back at the mirror, and Derek yells out, “Chloe, I gotta pee!” Chloe sighs and the scene ends.

Cut to Lan, Jason, and Derek lifting up a sewer grate. Lan thinks that she should be allowed to go down into the sewer with the boys, but Derek doesn’t think she should because she’s “a girl.” Derek finally gives his assent as he’s standing halfway in the sewer. Derek hears something, and the others listen close. Then he pretends that something is dragging him down into the sewer as Lan and Jason freak out.

Cut to Wayne and Chloe walking down the street. Wayne talks about some cop that he had to talk down from a building. Wayne asks how Chloe is doing these days, obviously trying to find out if she’s seeing anyone. She says she’s not, and he is “glad to hear it,” and hopes that “the fortress isn’t too impenetrable.” Chloe says that there are “some barbarians at the gate.”
Wayne does a “my heart is breaking” gesture, because Chloe might go out with someone else, and she laughs.

Back in the sewers, a rat is running by. Lan hears what the captioning calls “rhythmic tapping.” There’s a shot of the light coming in through a grate while the three shine their flashlights around. Derek tapes himself saying that they just passed tunnel fourteen, but they haven’t seen anything yet. Jason yells out, “Derek, look out.” We see Derek’s camera fall to the floor, and someone raising a pipe over their head, intending to hit Derek with it.

Cut to Derek and Jason are getting beat up, while Lan stands there. Lan finally helps Derek out. The two thugs ask if the Freakylinks gang have any money, and then says they’re going to “help [themselves] to this sweet thing,” meaning Lan. Derek tries to shield Lan, who says she can take care of herself. While they argue, the thugs grab the fallen camera and run off. The Freakylinks gang chase the thugs, yelling at them to give back the camera, and one of the thugs goes, “Finders keepers, suckers!” Derek tackles the thug and takes the camera back, and they realize they have entered some sort of underground lair, or home, or something. There are lots of candles and other people in there. Derek asks what it is, and Thug #2 says, “This…this is home. By the way, you’re trespassing.” Also, someone else is roasting a rat on a stick over a fire in a garbage can. Thug #1 reports that the gang came down via tunnel fourteen. Derek asks if that was the thugs doing the tapping earlier. The thugs look nervous and don’t answer.

Cut to Jason-cam recording Derek taking a big bite of roasted rat, which Jason claims is “hella nasty.” Thug #1 wants to hold the camera, and Jason doesn’t want to give it up. Thug #1 says, “Like I need another camera,” and gestures to a whole pile of Intel PC Cameras. Thug #1, whose name is apparently Bink, posses for the camera. Thug #2 tells Derek that if they want something, they “just reach up and take it.” Derek asks if they ever “reach up and take people.” Thug #2 says that’s “not [their] style.” Derek keeps asking what’s in tunnel fourteen. There’s some sort of tapping noise, and the Freakylinks gang looks freaked out. The rest of the people in the area start leaving. We hear, “Freeze, police!” and one of the cops grabs Jason’s camera.

Cut to Derek and Jason in a holding cell, sitting in between two very large men and looking uncomfortable. Derek says that the investigation isn’t over. Jason retorts that Lan is stuck somewhere “with the cast of Caged Heat” and they’re “facing a misdemeanor theft charge.” Derek asks where Bink is, and Jason says he ran away with one of the cameras. Derek gets up and asks Thug #2 what his name is. It’s Eli. Derek asks about the tapping sound, and Eli says it was cops. Derek says that cops don’t use Morse code, and Eli walks away. Derek follows him and asks about tunnel fourteen. Eli says it’s the “end of the line.” Someone comes and tells Derek and Jason they made bail.

Walking out, Derek thanks Chloe for getting them out, and Chloe tells him to thank Wayne. Wayne goes to get the car. Chloe asks if Derek ever thinks about how what he does affects other people. Derek says he thought Chloe was part of the team. Chloe criticizes Derek’s lack of discipline and planning. Chloe says Derek does everything “like a surfer,”. Derek says he was following a story. Chloe says, “A story? Alligators under the sewers? Derek, come on.” Chloe walks away.

Derek follows her and says, “Chloe. Wait. Chloe. Hold on.” Derek tells her that he thought once they got to New York City, Chloe would help, but since she’s not, they’re going. Then he nods and does a wierd thing with his eyebrows. Derek says they’re going to stay and finish up the story, but they’ll sleep in the car. Chloe protests, and Derek tells her to do what she has to do, “be with Wayne,” and they’ll be around. They’re all carrying their bags. Chloe says, “Great!” and walks away.

Derek and Jason are trying to convince Lan that sleeping in the car will be okay. Lan keeps saying it’s impossible. Finally they ask her why, and she says, “Because it’s Thursday,” and gestures to a sign that reads, “No Parking on Thursday. Street Cleaning. Violators Will Be Towed Away.”

Cut to Freakylinks gang on a subway. Lan has a subway map, and is telling them where they have to go in order to get their car. Jason points out that the “impound yard only takes cash,” and the “closest thing [Derek] has to a dead President is Millard Fillmore’s finger in a jar back home.” Lan pipes up that “it’s Warren G. Harding, and it’s not his finger.” Lan says she’ll pay for the car, and pulls out a thick rubber-banded wad of bills. Jason asks where she got the money, and Lan says, “I consult.”

As they get off the subway, Jason spots Bink, and they chase after him. They lose him as a train passes, but then Derek runs down to the tracks and yells at the others to follow. They are still carrying all of their bags.

Down in the tunnels, they have lost Bink. Derek yells out, “We just want our camera back.” Derek says he’ll take one tunnel while Lan and Jason take the other. Derek tells them to meet back at the starting point in two minutes. Lan says, “Derek!”. Derek takes off. Lan gasps, and the camera pans down to reveal a bloody rat on the ground. Lan is upset about this. Lan and Jason hear tapping, and they are walking through some fairly deep water. Derek suddenly jumps out in front of them, saying that his “flashlight crapped out.” As they walk off, we see a not-at-all-human hand reach up and tap on the wall.

Cut to Derek as he looks down and finds the camera that Bink took on the ground. The light from Jason’s camera goes out, so Derek tries to get his flashlight to work. Lan suggests they get out of there. They take a few steps, and Lan gasps at the sight of Bink’s bloodied and very dead body. The tapping starts up again. Derek asks what it’s called when dolphins use sound to communicate, and Lan replies, “Echolocation, why?” Derek explains, as his flashlight continues to cut out, that he thinks whatever killed Bink is using the tapping to communicate. Jason asks, “Communicate what?” Lan responds, “Dinner is served,” just as Derek’s flashlight goes out for good.

Derek asks if anyone has another flashlight, and Lan lights a Zippo. Derek brings the lighter over and illuminates someone in a Halloween mask. The Freakylinks gang scream and run.

Cut to Chloe as she puts retainers in her mouth and lies down in her bed, turning off the light. There’s a knock at her hotel room door. She answers it to find the Freakylinks gang there. They give her the rundown on Bink. Derek explains that the camera died, so they’re going to use her room to recharge it, and then go back down and get it on tape. Chloe says that they should take the police, and Jason points out that they just got arrested. Chloe says that it was murder, and Jason points out that the cops will blame the murder on them. Derek adds, “Unless we find one that won’t,” and looks at Chloe.

The Freakylinks gang plus Wayne and Chloe descend into the tunnels. They find that the camera and Bink’s body are gone. Wayne says, “Chloe, let’s go.” Derek protests, and Wayne asks if Derek was “the source material for [Chloe’s] paper.” Then Wayne says that he’ll wait for her outside and walks away. Chloe says she “can’t do this anymore.” Derek asks what she’s “not doing besides not believing us.” Chloe says “real life” is going on. Derek says that her life used to include the website, and Chloe says that “the website used to be different.” Derek tells Jason to turn off the camera which he does, and then tells Chloe that her problem isn’t that he runs the site like a surfer, but that he doesn’t run things like Adam did. Chloe says that’s not it, and Derek guesses that Wayne is the problem. Derek asks if Wayne is “the same guy who couldn’t even wait until Adam was cold before he started sniffing around where he wasn’t welcome.” Derek adds that she’s “not the only one that misses [Adam].” The Freakylinks gang leave Chloe behind. Derek says that he needs to talk to Eli, even though the others point out that Eli is still in jail. Chloe calls Derek back and says that the police will let Eli talk to a psychologist.

Chloe talks to Eli. Chloe asks him questions about the tunnels, and he tries to hit on her. After some more banter, Chloe asks about Bink, and if Eli is going to miss him. Eli says, “Why would I?” Chloe explains that Bink is dead, and asks if Eli can tell her what it was that killed him. Eli angrily shoves his chair.

Cut to Freakylinks gang plus Chloe doing research at the library. Chloe explains about a “pneumatic train” that was built by the city in the 1870s, and then suddenly shut down without explanation. They look at an article about attacks occurring in tunnel fourteen. Chloe continues to explain about a movement called “The Hollow Earthers,” and Jason uncovers a book about it. Chloe reads that the leader of the movement believed that there were underground dwellers with “tough, white skin” and extraordinary hearing. Chloe also reads that these beings were “ferocious” and “cannibalistic.” Turns out the leader of the movement is the one who built the station, which is why he knows so much about it. Some creature attacked the leader, and there are drawings of the creature in the book that match what the kids saw. The city shut down the station and sealed it off. Lan points out that it’s probably still there.

Research montage. Chloe finds some maps. Derek thanks her, not for the maps, but for the help in general. Lan is telling Chloe about how Derek’s power got shut off. Lan says that Derek “makes it up as he goes.” Chloe agrees, but clearly she thinks it’s a negative thing. Lan says defensively, “I think it’s a gift,”. Chloe raises an eyebrow at her. Lan says it’s “not like that,” and continues to protest, but obviously she likes him.

They gather up their research and prepare to go to tunnel fourteen. Chloe remembers that she has a paper to present in fifteen minutes. Derek tells her to go do that and meet them later, and Lan offers to go with Chloe, as long as the boys don’t “go under until [the girls] get there.”

Jason and Derek pry off a grate and get ready. They have some sort of radio headset which screeches as they fiddle witht he volume. Derek shows that he has an air horn, because the creatures have sensitive hearing. Jason starts to climb down the ladder, and tells Derek there’s something down there. Derek thinks he’s joking and suddenly Jason disappears. Derek grabs the camera and follows, leaving the rest of the gear behind including the air horn.

Chloe gives her presentation in about ten seconds as Lan rolls her eyes and looks at her watch. When no one has any questions, Chloe and Lan run out the door. They arrive at the grate opening to find Jason and Derek gone. Chloe hears Derek’s voice via the radio sitting on the ground. Derek reveals that “they’ve got Jason and Jason’s got the map.” Lan pulls out her map, but Derek keeps getting feedback. Chloe tells Derek to go left, and he does. We hear Jason screaming, and see him being dragged along the ground.

Derek comes to another fork. Chloe and Lan spread the map out to get a good look at it, and Chloe says there might be a shortcut, but then a biker comes along and rips it apart. Derek tries to find Jason via the sound of his voice. Derek tells himself he needs a shortcut, and he conveniently comes upon a covered manhole. He lifts up the lid and tells the girls he’s going further down and doesn’t know if the radios will take it. Derek drops down and finds a room, containing a bloodied Jason, who is still alive and able to get up. Jason videotapes a bunch of the creatures gathering, and Derek guesses that it “must be feeding time.” Derek tells him to run, but Jason stays behind for some reason. The creatures advance on Jason, and Derek turns up the volume on his headset so that massive feedback comes squealing out, crippling the creatures. Derek and Jason get the heck out of there. A creature wearing Bink’s jacket is chasing them. Jason gets up and out of the sewer safely. As Derek is climbing out, the creature grabs his foot, but Derek kicks out and climbs to safety as well. Derek rewinds the tape and reveals that he did get footage of the creature. The gang, including Chloe, all celebrate.

Derek is sitting on the sidewalk, finishing up a message for the website. He concludes, “And we’re posted.” Wayne takes a look at the video and asks for a copy, which Derek hands him. Jason pulls up in his truck, and Lan says that getting it out “cost her a mint.” Derek says he’ll pay her back, and she tells him to “just pay the electric bill and [they]’ll call it even.”

Chloe asks Wayne if he believes Derek, and Wayne says that Chloe does. Chloe thinks the video is good evidence, but Wayne isn’t buying it. Derek comes up and hugs Chloe goodbye, and then Derek, Jason, and Lan pile their stuff into the truck. Chloe tells Wayne that if Derek says he saw something, he did. Wayne says he’ll “see what [he] can do,” but it’s “nothing [he] can stake his reputation on.” Wayne offers to take her to lunch and then the airport. Chloe says she thinks she’s “up for a road trip,” and kisses Wayne goodbye on the cheek.

Cut to Derek-cam, filming the conversation. Lan squeals, “Ooh, she just kissed him!” Chloe comes over to the truck and asks if they have room for one more. She gets in, and they take off.

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